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Summary: The Mako: An implausibly bouncy tank, and the love of Shepard's life. Something like that, anyway.
Length: 400 words
Rating: G
Notes: I've been doing Makofic every time I've seen a drabble thread. (Well, the first one was technically a "write three sentences about your OTP" one, and I actually wrote three paragraphs, but... it's still 100 words.)

Read the drabbles )
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Summary: Shepard licks, spanks and fucks Liara's blue behind. Eventually Kelly joins in, too.
Length: 6000 words.
Rating: M for explicit M/F, M/F/F
Notes: Lots of buttsex lately... Fill for a (really old) prompt on the ME kink meme.

The monitor devoted solely to following the Normandy's progress told Liara the ship was in her system several moments before it arrived. )
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Summary: Kal'Reegar covers Tali's butt in oil and then sticks his dick in it, much to her delight.
Length: 1100 words.
Rating: M for explicit M/F
Notes: Fill for the ME kink meme. Possibly the worst, or best, title I've ever come up with.

"Open up, ma'am." )
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Summary: Miranda tries to distract Shepard from his work, and finds that the sensitizing gel she bought is perhaps a little too effective. Mostly breast play.
Length: 3900 words.
Rating: M for explicit M/F
Notes: Fill for the ME kink meme in response to a request for "more titty fucking."

Miranda had not expected a vacation, but she had, on some level, thought things would quiet down after the mission. )
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Summary: Shepard walks in on Tali doing some squats. He sets out to distract her.
Length: 2200 words.
Rating: M for explicit M/F
Notes: Fill for the ME kink meme.

It was not a big gym, or a well equipped one, but it had the basics. )
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Summary: Humans are not the only ones who tell fairy tales, but the other races have... slightly different takes on the classics.
Length: 740 words
Rating: G
Notes: Silly. Also, a shameless edit of (or so the internet tells me) Charles Perrault's version of "Little Red Riding Hood". Well, mostly, anyway.

Once upon a time there lived on Thessia a little asari maiden, the prettiest creature who was ever seen. )
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Summary: The Collectors are gone, but Shepard has little time to rest - just enough for one last stop at Omega.
Length: 3300 words
Rating: M
Notes: Fourth and final part in a series.

Next time, fix your comm FIRST, message SECOND. )
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Summary: Apparently, the best way to catch an ardat-yakshi is to be the biggest hipster in the galaxy. Naturally, Shepard was up to the task.
Length: 2900 words
Rating: M
Notes: Third part in a series.

Problem solved. Got the blood pumping. Tell you about it later. )
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Summary: After an unpleasant encounter on Horizon, Shepard stops by Omega to get drunk and laid. Aria decides she can manage both.
Length: 3000 words
Rating: M for rough sex
Notes: Second part in a series.

I need a place to get drunk and laid. Recommendations? )
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Summary: Shepard stops by the Afterlife to give Aria a report on the situation with Archangel. Written in response to a request for Aria and Shepard as fuckbuddies.
Length: 3000 words
Rating: M
Notes: First part in a series.

I'm 90 minutes from Omega. Got room for my ship in your dock? )
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Summary: Who needs beds when you have a cargo hold? Prompt was for "anal sex with Jack on the receiving end".
Length: 2000 words
Rating: M for explicit M/F sex, anilingus
Notes: --

He couldn't remember the last time they fucked in a bed. )
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Summary: Miranda spent a long time poking around Shepard's body. It's about time he got some payback. Prompt: "ManShep/Miranda slow, graphic fingering." It contains quite a lot of that. And some other stuff. Mostly fingering, though.
Length: 4800 words
Rating: M for explicit M/F sex
Notes: --

'This is not fair at all.' )
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Summary: Apparently, Mass Effect fans are also fond of sex toys. "In honor of this fracking awesome discovery, a prompt is in order. I don't care what sort of story people want to write, but it MUST include toys of some sort. Maybe they could be new alien technology? Hell, old Prothean sex toys." Mordin studies a curious device. Kasumi helps him try it out.
Length: 4000 words
Rating: M
Notes: I hope I didn't butcher the Mordin-speak too much...

The majority of the crew had not met Liara T'soni, but she and the Commander went way back and the intel she supplied was known to be first class, and they were prepared to leave it at that. )
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Summary: which Shepard calls Liara "Blueberry Muffin". Prompt: Femshep/Liara and sex over the phone ... the hologram functions on Normandy are temporarily broken down, so there's no visual, only heated words and "hello hand".
Length: 3800 words
Rating: M for... heated words.
Notes: I blame Lair of the Shadow Broker for this, but I actually started writing this long before it came out, which is why this is a world where Shepard has not installed LotSB yet doesn't get hold of the Shadow Broker intel until a few days after the mission.

Hello? )
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Summary: Shepard and Liara are having a baby. There are... complications. Sort of.
Length: 143 words
Rating: G
Notes: Crack. Written very quickly, and inspired by the title of a previous fill on the same subject.

All right, Liara. Push. )
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Summary: Renegade male Shepard/paragon femShep, with Tali and Garrus commentary. Inspired by this picture.
Length: 2000 words
Rating: R for not-so-explicit M/F sex
Notes: Crack.

Tali groaned and leaned her head in her hands, palms covering her visor. )
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Summary: Shepard and Liara have something sweet and romantic going. However, Shepard secretly gets off on fantasies where the things she does to Liara are anything but sweet and romantic.
Length: 2200 words
Rating: M for rough and explicit F/F sex
Notes: I don't write "rough" much. Too much of a wuss.

Liara is flirting with her. If you can call it that. )
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Summary: Shepard gets caught in Hock's room while looking for DNA samples, and the only way out is seducing him... and taking the DNA in a more direct manner.
Length: 4100 words
Rating: M for explicit M/F sex
Notes: I am so proud of this fic! And when I say "proud", I mean "horribly embarrassed". Still, it probably has the best title I have ever come up with.

Come to think of it, Commander Shepard thought, checking the alarm clock for DNA had probably not been the cleverest idea to pass through her head. )
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Summary: Jack pounces on Ken down in the engineering subdeck. Tali and Gabby watch the security footage and decide to experiment a little on their own.
Length: 4400 words
Rating: M for explicit M/F and F/F sex
Notes: It's long! And it doesn't involve Shepard! I like it!

The subdeck had used to be a nice and comforting place. )
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Summary: Prompt: "'I love this rifle!' And so does Shepard. So... FemShep x Garrus' Sniper Rifle, anyone?" In the end, it's more Garrus/Shepard/Rifle, though...
Length: 2400 words
Rating: M for... inappropriate and probably unsafe use of firearms? Also sex.
Notes: Don't try this at home.

Forty, she stated as the mech fell over backwards and then, almost as an afterthought, exploded. )
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Summary: Prompt: "Shepard femdom. Shepard has a male character (Garrus, Thane, Saren, Nihlus, etc, just no Jacob or Kaidan, please) tied up and is playing with him."
Length: 189 words
Rating: M for implied rape
Notes: OMG rape is funny! Am I cool and edgy yet? :(

The ball-gag was a nice touch. )
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Summary: Shepard fucking Kaidan with a strap-on. He is less than thrilled with the idea at first, but eventually warms to it.
Length: 3700 words
Rating: M for explicit M/F sex
Notes: It took me a week to write, and as a result, I'm afraid the end result may feel a bit disjointed. I still think it's a fun idea, though.

There's no way I can get you to change your mind on this, is there, Commander? )
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Summary: After a request for "slow and tender sex". Shepard and Garrus finally have their special moment together, but kill the mood when a careless remark reminds them of what they were trying to forget.
Length: 2100 words
Rating: R for rather tame descriptions of M/F sex
Notes: The ending just kind of happened. I don't think the abruptness of it went over well, but it felt kind of realistic, so I decided to keep it...

Chafing was not an issue. )
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Summary: There was a request for "masturbating Jacob" fic. This is one of those. Also, Miranda/f!Shepard and Miranda/f!Shep/Jacob, in Jacob's dreams.
Length: 1300 words
Rating: M for explicit F/F and M/F/F sex
Notes: Written very quickly. Not too sure about this one...

The alarm did not go off, and Jacob grunted, rolled over and hit his clock with a balled-up fist. )
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Summary: jack and zaeed
sitting in a tree

Length: 500 words
Rating: Most likely R for Jack having a speaking part... also, shenanigans.
Notes: I have no idea if my Zaeed sounds anywhere even remotely similar to his actual voice. (Sorry, I used him for all of two missions. Need to replay. At some point.) Not too sure about Jack either, but I'm more worried about him. ...anyway, it's crack.

Whose fault is this and why hasn't anyone shot them by now? )

March 2016

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